p   a   s   a   d   e   n   a

Just Tired, Denise.

I don't know. I'm just tired, Denise, you know? Tired like the ache in your bones seem to belong there and you just have to suffer through it, too long ago to remember different. There was a time I could run, I could throw, I could jump, and I can almost feel it in my head, but the rest no longer processes the reflexes necessary to carry out the acts, the actions. And isn't "action" itself at this stage, at this age, pointlessly, recklessly, attempted, and intended instead to be ruthlessly avoided? 

I believe we have no choice, really.

There are fit fellows out there!

Fit for what? Nothing?!

You'd be surprised if you saw them!

Make me feel like a school girl again? Ha! Now there's a bridge too far...trying to remember those days...those emotions...OH the emotions! Such a mad, wild child. 

I remember.

Oh, You! You calmed me down! I was older and ready to be settled, not that I knew it before I knew you... lucky you.

Don't I know it.

I doubt you would have dealt with the wild and stupidly wicked girl that inhabited this skin back then.

Oh, I've witnessed the wicked, I think I'd be aware...and I so love that skin...your flesh...lean in, let me smell your hair, your neck...yes, there...lost again.

No one ever knocked my knickers off like you, Johnny.

Don't stop with the flattery, but promise me that you won't be lonely without me. Go back and find that wild wicked child - she's still inside there.

Ha! No Johnny, she's not. She was only wild because she was lost, but you found her, cleaned her up, and set her on the right path.

I never intended to dictate...

You never did. I admired you so...still do...I loved you so...still do. You gave me someone to walk with. I could breath with you, keep pace with you, enjoy the view. I never did that before you, John. I never noticed anything but my own wretched reflection.

Wretched?!  How dare you speak of your beautiful self in such a way. Look at yourself!

That was the problem, John, that's all I looked at. You changed that. The narcissistic little flower withered away, but you tended the plant that remained, and look what we grew to be.

Vines entwined.

Yes, vines entwined over time. Go ahead, just try to separate us!

Denise, I am tired.

Shhh...

I'm afraid this vine is dying dear. But you are strong, you'll...

Stop, Johnny, please.

I am withering. Don't prop me up, Denise. Let me fold while ahold of you, and not some pumps, and tubes, all drugged and confused. If feeling the pain, means feeling your love, your touch, that's all I ask, is that too much?

You never asked too much, John. That was my job, and you gave freely. To a fault.

Never.....enough...

Just hold me, Johnny. Just hold me tight.

Goodnight, Denise...goodnight. I…