Thursday, December 18, 2014

YOU LOSE, WORLD!





Phillip Stein? You heard about him, right? Drunken rant that he can’t recant. Total Immolation. Why is there one at every wedding? :

Okay, so! … so jus’ a quick salute to the handsome couple, from the Top Ten Dude of his Generation –
ri’-here - GENIUS!
Good looks - #1 in his class – feast the eyes, huh?
Great taste – attends all the trendy’s…spews and espouses the news and reviews. Ask me!
THE GREATEST FUCKING TALENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN!!! ….YET NEVER REALIZED!!!
Has anyone read my fucking resume? “Link” me sometime!
YOU LOSE, WORLD!
You know who doesn’t lose? Huh?! You wanna know?! You wanna know the BIIIGGGGG winners? Hahhahhahaaaa….
The Ladies! But don’t tell my wife about the mistress….hahaha…and don’t tell the mistress about the other two bitches! … hahahahahahhhaaa….
There she is. Stand up Honey! Thats my girl! C’mon up…honey…hey, honey! Jokin’ up here! C’mon back! Where you going? Will somebody go get my wife! Stop her! Aw, shit…I’m in the doghouse…she can be a real psycho… so anyways, so you two go to fucking Bali and fuck your Bali brains out. Hahah… Hey. No. I’m okay, fellas, I got it…hey!…NO! (ugh)

The Mic hit the floor with a thud, and the feedback filled the room, and drowned out the angry outcry, but once it was switched off, the rumble of discontent was loud and clear, as were the sobs from the Bride’s Party, as that asshole was taken ‘out back’ and roughly handled by the groom’s men.
Once the ambulance was loaded, all the questions were answered to the official’s satisfaction, and it drove off …the siren ‘whooping’ down the road, on the way to his personal oblivion…that’s when the party really kicked in. You missed a good one.

Monday, December 15, 2014

MAURA MOON'S LAST MORN




Maura Moon awoke to the bombastic thunder of a dumpster being pounded, up and down, landing on the ground, in grand ceremonial style...resounding surround-sound, with no consideration for those that lived along, and just above, this alley of discontent, this frigid morn, hearing that rumble and clatter, over and over, rolling down the alleyway, bouncing off the old brick, cold brick, walls. The squealing brakes, the pneumatic hiss, the cranking arm, the clang of the slots, the grind of the lift, the growl and the dump, and then the growl... back down, signaling the finale, and the drop of the empty, dense, tin bin.  And again…and again…
The stink, the steam, and diesel fume, rise, to underscore the cacophony, the taste of Defeat. In the inhale, a tangible and foul taste. 'Bitter' would be a blessing, but this was toxic, noxious, consumptive waste. God she hated Wednesday...a winter Wednesday especially. Gray, bleak, biting, with chafing winds gusting in off the lake. The bus will be late as she huddles, shaking, in a kiosk of metal and steel, like meat in a freezer case, while wrapped in a mega-graphic of a bimbo holding a burger almost as bountifully endowed as each of her overtly enhanced breast. Crudely defaced, the graffiti artist was also an astute observer, his "THREE TITS" summed it up nicely. Apparently this "She" is "someone" to some target (boy) audience, but Maura has no clue, who, …nor gives a .... (ALARM!!!!!).....shit! ....she did NOT want to leave this warm comfort under her toasty dual comforters and flannel sheets... not today...please.  Then comes a tapping on her window,which soon becomes a hard drizzle, turning quickly into stinging shards, rasping sharply against the glass...not some misty spritz....this pelting was 'driven'.  Goddamn it anyway!   While she waited for her tea to percolate, the storm grew, and she screamed at the top of her lungs.

Riley, the retired ad-man next door, called out, "We can hear you!"     

"Fuck you!!!! ", her retort.

He always got a good laugh outa’ that, as he intimately understood the grumbling. He, too, had weathered the weather, while 'working the game' ...won some, lost more, two wives prior, and three kids...grown and distant...he resides alone, not in his suburb home. That, sadly, went to wife number three, (his biggest and youngest mistake, and a classic case of male depressive desperation) so he chose this studio apartment, downtown, in Midtown, (not the 'right side' of Midtown, mind you, but…) six blocks away from his old office. Old Turf. He just couldn't stay away, plus he knew the general neighborhood, well enough to stumble home from his nighttime soirees, and essentially couldn't afford much more. Besides, where else would he go? He'd seen every major market in the US of A, on many an occasion, in all conditions, and still preferred this town, his town. 
On nicer days he'd take a stroll down the old avenue, hoping, to meet someone, 'one of the gang', heading out to lunch. And at first it worked, but then they grew fewer and fewer, or perhaps, to avoid him. The old watering holes were gone, too, and he wondered where they congregated nowadays…the new crew…he had no clue. Things change. But on a day like today, he didn't miss any of that, No, sir. They could damn well have their rugged commutes. "Earn it you bastards," he'd mutter, " I did, dammit… before I pissed it away on women and drink. Young women, old booze, those what rules old fools like me, as we come to realize, we always lose. What the fuck...”

"Yeah, but I bet you enjoyed the ride," she responded back through the thin flat walls, already knowing the answer, having heard his stories time and again.

"You’re gonna miss your bus!" he yelled back.
"Won't that be a tragedy!?"
“Indeed! When the rent is due...!"
“Damn you!”
“Damn you, too, but take your slicker! It's a pisser!”
“I see the weather, and I don't take advise from old farts.”
“The voice of experience!” ( he farts )
“I hear that, and there's no experience expounded there that I would want any part of!”
“You don't know what you missed!”
“Damn-Happy to know that!”
WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE HELL UP?
“Sorry, Mrs. Baldwin!”
EVER HEARD OF A TELEPHONE? MUCH MORE POLITE TO  OTHERS! TEXT FOR CHRISSAKES! It’s SILENT!
“Didn't know you were wearing your aid! Sorry!”
Who needs a hearing aid with you two as neighbors !
“Go back to bed, Mitzi!”
Easy for you to say, Riley . And you have a lovely day, Denise!
“I'll sincerely try Mrs B.!  Thank you! B-bye!”

And off she went…for good.

It’s just not the same here anymore.







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