Friday, October 30, 2015

THE JACKALOPE


William didn’t mean to be walking on that side of the street, and yet, it did not occur to him to avoid it for any particular reason. I mean, it made a certain sense, in that most of the shops in which William might stop, were there, and handy, but William wasn’t in need of anything in particular, so he ambled, unabated, and passed by those plate windows without noticing.
But then one thing DID catch his eye, and froze him in his tracks when it did. Regaining his composure, he walked right up to the glass and pressed his forehead against it. There in the second-hand window was a jackalope lamp! Authentic! It claimed.
He was struck and amazed at the moment. He had to have it. But the store, being what it was, a second-hand shop, was not always open during business hours…at least during it’s business hours, which were entirely random and carefree. As of right now, the sign said “SHUT”. And shut she was.
He peered inside, not believing the sign. Still as a chapel. Maybe someone in back…out of sight…so he knocked, and knocked louder but no one came.
He jotted down the name and number and called, immediately, when he got home. The phone rang and rang , but no machine, and no answer.
“This is no way to run a business,” he thought, as he dialed…and so went the rest of his day, calling to no avail.
The next day he made sure to be awake by ten, so he had a chance to secure the lamp. He figured the owner of the shop would open and wait, and if the day was slow, they’d just shut it down. He made sure to be early, at least by his standards, and probably theirs.
He stood in front of the shop, at eleven, hat in hand, a slight trembling at the sight of it. He was hesitant, as he approached. “Why?” he wondered. The sign was down. He was buoyed. He tried the knob and it turned. A “dingle” announced his arrival.
He breathed in, and immediately was surrounded by the dust of a thousand souls gathering. So meticulously pack-ratted, so sort of sorted, so misguided in it’s guidance, as to make perfect sense of the mayhem. And up she popped. She’d been seated at a desk, all a clutter, behind a counter full of same. He could have easily missed her, and he did.
“Do come in. Don’t let out the cat. Come in…come in.”
“Oh! You’re here!”
“Where would you expect me to be?”
“Of course. I was wondering if …”
“Yes?”
…and at that moment William came to realize he could appear too eager, and it might affect the price. He recanted the thought and said he’d “…just look”. Best play it cagey at this early stage.
“Of course,” she said, but went on to say, “if you have your eye on the jackalope, I’m afraid there’s been a deposit.”
“A deposit?”
“A gentleman paid me to hold it, until he could go gather his wallet. Seems he left it at the gym. He’ll be back this afternoon…”
“Wait. I’m here now. I AM interested, and I AM willing to pay.”
“I couldn’t do that.”
“Oh please. Of course you can. I’ll even reimburse you his “holding fee”. What do you say?”
“Puts me in a awkward position…can’t be trusted to keep my word.”
“Look. How much is it?”
“Makes no difference to you…”
“Please.”
“Two hundred.”
“TWO HUNDRED!!!”
“…gentleman gave me fifty to hold it. I can’t disappoint him…”
“TWO FIFTY! Kee – rist!”
“No swearing in here, “ she admonished.
“Sorry. Sorry. Just overcome by the price…I..”
“Then that settles it, and the gentleman can have his lamp.”
“No, wait. I’ll offer two seventy five if it will fit on my credit card.”
She studied him carefully, and said “Shall we check?”
He went into his pocket, extracted the wallet, and dug out the card. His hand only trembled slightly, as he handed it over. She walked back to the counter, and swiped the card. APPROVED.
“Well, we know you got something left on this. Do you still want to make the purchase.”
“I do.”
“Very well. You drive a hard bargain, but commerce is commerce.”
“Exactly.”
“Let’s ring it up and see if it flies!”
He watched as she added the tax on an adding machine, and came up with the total. Two seventy five. He swallowed hard as she placed the order. Time stood still for a long while.
APPROVED.
He let out his breath and laughed with relief. It was his!
She offered to wrap it, as best she could, and he, wanting no one to interfere with his getting this thing home…he said, “Yes.”
“You’ll have to lend a hand.”
“Sure thing,” he said, just dying to handle it.
So together they started wrapping the jackalope, and as they did...turning it over...William caught a glimpse. “What’s this? It’s a price tag. It says…forty-nine dollars.”
“That was an old tag. That’s what I paid for it years ago.”
“I’m suspect…maybe this IS the price and you made up the story of the ‘other gentleman’ altogether!”
“Would I do that?”
“Would you?”
“See the sign…”
ALL SALES FINAL
“How did you know I would bite?”
“I sat in this very chair, yesterday afternoon, and watched as you…as you were overcome.”
“No one was here. I didn’t see you. No one answered the knock!”
“We were closed.”
“But you were here!”
“And we were closed.”
“And you watched.”
“And I watched.”
“I’ll be damned” he said. Having had enough, he swept the jackalope up in his arms and left. It was his, nevertheless.
He was so willing to accept defeat, it almost hurt, but once the door closed behind him, she rejoiced. Then she set another jackalope in the window and closed for the day.







V