DANGEROUS THINKING

 

It came at me. I knew it was an apparition but I was very fearful. I can’t deny that. It was that real. I hid like a coward.

I wish I could say I dumped it down the drain, but the truth is I emptied the bottle. I had consumed my consumption…took from my partaking, never looking back except to say ‘where did it all go?”, while knowing all along, the last drop has been lapped, and it’s too late…. and it was, but for fate. 

You know how you catch glimpses of people? Flashes of a second or two, and you’d almost be ready to risk everything to adapt to this person and jettison everything else? 

"Dangerous thinking" 

      ...don’t you think?   

Not knowing.

She came to me. Picked me out of the crowd, but it was not the crowd I was with, I was simply trying to get around it. She slipped me her arm, and said “join us…”

It was so impromptu, so out of the blue, that I said “sure…” 

...with maybe ten bucks to my name, no idea where we were going, and how much it was going to cost me.

In moments a limo pulled up to the curb and the crowd, crowded in. I hesitated, not being 'limo' material, but she persisted, and in an instant, I was inside.  I introduced myself to anyone that would listen, but given the hysterical mass-gaiety, it didn’t seem to matter. Everyone disinterested, but my new-found ‘friend’. She hung nearby in case I needed her. Which I sort of did.

We ended up in a field, quite a ways out of the city. The roof retracted to expose the sky, the doors open and the crowd, became, "all-strewn-about", and were having a great time. 

That girl never left my side, and before I realized, she was my bride. A matter of months, and I was hers. Foolish even then, but I did acquiesce...

As a pair we were wasted more times than before. A long summer of hot nights, and the more we partook, the more bored we got. 

Annulment proceedings were uneventfully effective. So, let's just put that one to rest.

V

WALK IN PAIRS

Help me get my balance. I’m…I’m….teetering…ing. 

Overcome….over….come. I may need some assist now. If you can swing it. Maybe get me a cab? get me home. Where are we? Is this Milan or Madrid? It’s just too much….Munich? Come back to earth. Mother Earth.

I am confused and delusional but sharp as razor. It’s just that I get confused. I am temporarily globally restrained. But I love the peat, this fertile earth…

Okay, I think I’m OK. A lot of trouble for nothing, if you ask me. Bone’s Syndrome (BS): 
"….you are convinced you have no bones to hold you up, so you just spill … all over." 

But it's under control with medication. The medication…

There are bears in the trees around here. This time of year, best walk in pairs.

V

PAINT THE PORTRAIT

 

Do your best and try not to be Obscure. Step out and become someone. Easy to say, I know, but I also know you got no choice. Either you make the best of your situation, or you fade…or perish. Which will it be? Don’t tell me, I don’t want to know. This is a decision you have to make…an oath you take, when you are ready.

There are days those words ring true, but alas, more for ‘the lesser’. For I never found my fortune, never met my goals, wandered from the path that I never found, and find myself dealing poorly in some

squandered squalid survival.

The ghosts, they come. Not in a dream…voices in the head. They wonder what went wrong, but there is no answer. I opt to shut them out, should they get too loud. Sometimes they do, and I have to wonder…surely someone hears this cacophony? 

But no one does, and would they care or would it just be a wash in the noise around it?

A brushstroke of mud…from a palette of shit...

Alright, I'm ready.

Paint the portrait.

V