Thursday, October 2, 2014

FISH SHACK


We were six willing, skinny, and broke blokes gone clear up coast to Harkum to salvage us a boat. An old trawler it was, sunk just off the coast, and the plan was to get her afloat, out of the lanes and back into port, where we, this scrappy crew, would proceed to dismantle her…being the wharf rats we were, and the men we were about to become.

Oh, she could have been towed out to deep water and sunk, but the owner had personal effects, trinkets and gear and was just plain, attached after some thirty year. It’s what we do, this ragamuffin crew…stripping and scrapping, in the ‘yards back home. Besides, you go find the work, the work don’t find you. This was our big chance. We shipped out in advance and were put up in a fish shack and sat cramped…eating scant from the icebox…pot pies, odd frozen ‘steaks’ textured and packed with little butter pats, some canned stew, beans, stale bread, beer and jerky… Just passing gas, and time, while making due. It was not at all plush, rather damn bleak, but it had a pooper, a hot plate and an old wood-burner stove for heat. She nested, this crate, moaning with the wind and tide while suspended amongst the pier pilings, like a fly in a web, or a crab in a pot. It was…oh, 10 meter, or so, over the waterline below, which is none too secure with heavy seas, but we were in port and you put your trust in the break wall, which is not too reassuring, come a Nor’easter.  But it was a good job with some last-minute cash, to help us get through a long winter. So we sit, and we wait, and then the trouble begins. The trawler, was finally drained, rigged, and buoyed for balance,  but as her towing commences, so too, does the bluster. As they approached the mouth of the harbor, the swells rose and the tow lines broke, sending the lame vessel aimlessly adrift, until she washed up, and broke up, out on the jetty. Now we had us some dilemma. Do we walk away or stay and see what we can do at sea? Heading back with no scrap…the last job of the season would be a crapper. It was clear the weather wasn’t going to cooperate, it was building into a cold snap, and if it persisted we ran the risk of being stranded inside an ice-packed port and there’d be no getting out until thaw, and meanwhile We being ‘the meat in the ice-box’ in that event.

So we gave it a go. We’d take daily soirees into the unrelenting seas in a leaky little skiff, or scrambled along the battered seawall, for four days straight we lay it on the line, but once Pete went in the water, and we almost lost him, we took a vote amongst us and decided to shut her down and wait her out. Then we faced the "locals", who was startin’ to rumble ‘bout us –  and, for what? We’re just the strangers come to take your scrap, livin' under the pier... 'wharf rats'...we didn’t cause this, didn’t sink the old girl, didn’t obstruct the lane, didn’t bring winter in a month early. Nothin'.  We did no harm to your economy or ruin your friggin’ Holidays! Hell, our personal economy was about to be absolute squat after this gig! So we haggled a bit with the towners, a few days at least, then the hammer came down as the final nor’easter comes in like a beast and smack…we’re all stuck. So we hunkered down in our bunks. Six bloody blokes stuck in this drafty box with waves this-close to lickin’ the friggin’ floorboards, groanin’ beneath our feet.

We passed the time playin’ cards for matchsticks, and swapping tales, but a few days of that and it all goes stale...all goes flat  – the air, the food, the attitude. When the front did break, for a short time there, we got out, got some sun, and just hung around. The locals had calmed, their frustration resigned by the weather, but not all that much resolved to us, as some surly pockets remained - fishermen mostly, so we knew, and continued to avoid trouble by being invisible as could be, in this tight little town.

Then the boy showed up…washed up, wrapped up in ropes, netting, and floats, entangled in the pilings, directly beneath our suspended shed. Poor lad. We all looked down as he floated face up, staring back at us. He was a cherubic little school-boy, pale and so very innocent, drifting gently now in calm waters, as if an angel floating overhead, but now just below, down in the drink, instead.

Well that caused a stir on the docks of this small port, as people poured out of their houses for the first time in days, only to find the dead child, a local boy, who’s mother wailed and father railed, and suspicious eyes stared at the six of us, strangers in their midst, huddled against the railing and now in a bit of a fix. Wasn’t us that brought this, but it was Us, now in their nets.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

The Shadow Self


The ugly dark side
‘til now they could hide
bubbles to the surface
no longer confined.
You, now a servant
They come not to confide
But to confront
Life’s lie
And it’s you who must listen
And you who abides
The abuses
To come
from their poison inside

It’s in there.
and damn ugly,
but you’ve seen the signs.
Mind’s Miscorrelations,
Screaming skulls blare
Wild-eyed headlight’s glare,
Flailed swings
fists flare
in confused directions,
fatal anger pent,
but denied,
as they once were,
so damn angry at the thought,
grown old left to rot,
...in endless halls
No rescue today
No tomorrow
then, 
if that be
My Fate...?
   
"To hell with you all!"

I am allowed to Rage
you know!

It’s not supposed 
to be this way
they say,
and dare not attempt 
to anticipate
because it’s coming from someplace unforeseen,
buried deep in gut, like a bile in the spleen,
oozing a grudge
that bore on their minds
born of anger
built-up
o'er a lifetime.
Going, 
but begrudgingly...
Gone, 
but
Not Resigned.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

DARLA DIDN'T MAKE IT


Hey now how you doing? Sit your ass down and have a cold one. I was just espoundin’ to my old friend Lou...Lou, from Honolulu….That’s Lou over there…the big Dude.

Dude!

We were just shootin’ the shit about the immigrates. I say if they want to stay here then fine! Hand them a rifle and send ‘em over there and fight these fucking wars we got going. You know, wherever they might be goin’ on. If there's some oil, then there's your war! Hell, we might be sending ‘em back to where they just came from…maybe fighting their own fuckin cousins, but still, man, you want to stay free, you know? …go fight fo’it. You come back a hero, we hand you your papers. You come back in a box?...fukman, you’re still a hero, you know? It’s your name on that wall. Pretty fuckin awesome…ask me. Shitman, I woulda fought if they’da let me, but this neck...? I told you about the wreck, right? That was one cherry bike. I showed you the pictures, right? Well, so-what I can’t turn my head? Shitman, I could be dead. Darla didn’t make it….goddamn…took a header…haunts me still. I told you that story right? How shit-faced we was that night? Yeah, probably a thousand times, right? I won’t bore you with the facts, I’m sure you got them straight by now, but I close my eyes and I see her flyin’…flyin’ on, to oblivion. Haunts me still. Weren’t for that fuck-up I’d probably be dead somewhere like Darla. Hell at least she landed on her home soil, you know? Who the fuck knows where I might’a died? Ain’t that the truth, Lou?

Fuckin’ bet your ass, dude! 

Look at Lou, he woulda fought, too, but his big ass just don't move. You gotta wonder what life’s got in line, sometimes its trouble, sometimes you’re fine.

To you, Lou! From one lucky motherfucker to the other!