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Lurid Laundry Laundromat

BINGO BANGO

Hello. Welcome. I enjoyed your meal hopefully…

Uh, yes. Thank you. MY meal was excellent. I enjoyed it very much. Everything…perfect. Really…

You know! In my country it is customary to fuck d’chef!

What?

It’s just a tradition. A family thing. We all do this.

You ‘fuck’ the chef?! … c’mon…

My Mother was a big fucker!

STOP!…stop, stop, stop, stop, stop…..

Jean - Louie.

( shon - lou – WEE )

I see. Well, Shon-Lou-WEE ! ...we are having a problem with our communication, or so it it would seem.

I am enjoying our communication very much.

Let’s get back to….uh… 'doing’ your mother….

MMMMMWaahhh!!!  Big on the lips!

Ah, ...PUCKER!!!

Pucker? My Mother Pucker?!

 KISS!!! You KISS your Mother…she kisses you!

Are you sure of this…? I find it disturbing.

Okay, let me help here with the definition, because it will be important.

I do not know the right thing? Damn me anyhow. How bad did I kiss up?

Good. You got it. Here’s the issue and I think, the confusion… Look…. “KISS”…. (point) LIPS!…”PUCKER”…LIPS!….get it?  Now say that.

KISS LIPS PUCKER LIPS. Yes.

KISSLIPSPUCKERLIPS….but….”Fucker?”- HIPS!!

Oh, wow! You have svelt pervis!

Swell Pelvis? Are you trying to tell me I have a nice ass?

Crack-pipe, I puckered up big time. Turn around, I check out your pancakes.

No. Let’s get back to what you did to your Mother in the kitchen…

I pucker her.

Close.

I kiss her ...?

Got it.

No pervis thrust…?

None.

Got it.

Then what about you?

Oh. What about me?

You pervis, personally?

Do I…?  I have. Yes.

So we puck?

You don’t make It easy…

If you want I don’t take it easy, okay…

You DO take it easy! …and if you do…I guess you might have a shot at that, too.

BANGO!

…Bingo.

BANGO-BINGO!

Bingo Bango.

Now we have communication.

Wait up. First...how do you thank the chef in your country?

We KISS the chef?

Okay, good. We can start there.

Excellent.

(kiss.......)

..........mmm. Tell me you weren't playing me along this whole time.

Yes. It is true. In my country we play along.

I'll Pay Damages

…wait. I think I passed­­ “beyond” 4 Miles ago, and I’m still talking to you.

Yes. I hear you. You’re still here.

So I didn’t pass onto the great beyond?

I doubt you passed much beyond the parking lot.

What?

You weren’t gone that long…

So how did I wake up here?

You walked in the door, like everybody else.

Front door, or back?

Is that important?

It is to me.

Don’t know. Couldn’t tell if I had to…

And I just showed up?

Like you do almost every night, except this time you left and showed up twice.

And you tell me this, why? Am I supposed to be some kind of fucking miracle that is not allowed to show up twice at the same party?

After your first grand exit…the ‘fuck-you-people’ exit….

What?!

You don’t remember people throwing shit? Food? Drinks? Hell, John Higgs threw a stool. We threw him out.

So I wasn’t involved?

Only to the point that you caused the riot in the first place…

But beyond that…?

You were taking a whiz and a walk in the bushes for all I know.

But, surely some time had surpassed…

As time will do…

But not a long time…?

That is relative to the participant…

Meaning?

You were back in well before closing

There was no riot. It was quiet…very…almost…

Dead?

Was going to say ‘Zen’. But...

Zen don't work for a bar

Then why so 'Zen' ?

Because the ones that weren’t about to wait to be arrested, decided not to stay…the others were too busy beating the shit out of each other to notice and were taken away.

Well there you go…their own damn fault for stickin’round.

I believe the cops thought the same...

There were cops?…Lights?   …sirens? All that?

Oh, yeah.

How did I not know this?

We…the police and I…surmised you lay face down in the field, probably passed out.

How?

How? How did we know?

Yes?

The moss, dirt and grass on your face…twigs in your hair…feces on your khakis…

That’s me? Damn, I thought you...

No, that’s you. Notice the place is pretty empty…especially in this vicinity, which is important, because this is the bar…

So I owe money…

Just pay your tab…

Which is greater?

Your tab…

In that case, I’ll pay for damages.