I first entered the tunnel many years ago, many more than ten, or even twenty….many more. Yet when I stop to think, when I can think through the drink and drugs, illegal and prescribed, I think there has always been a tunnel, in fact I know there has. Right through the urethra, vagina, womb, u-turn and out the shaft into the void, you plop. Then what? You didn’t get asked. You don’t even know what the fuck you are, but the rest is up to you. But, then… not quite, because there are things to be done, results to be measured, and expectations to be met. The best chance you got is that the expectations are low and they let you be, and if so, you’ll probably meet your mark, or your maker. Either way, not a bad undertaking compared to the other end, where ‘expectations met’ means the heavier the load, the more ‘the heavy lifting’ is expected.
Oh, sure, at first that sounds just right, like the light from above shone upon you, and made you visible, viable, and valuable. But all along, like everyone else, you are nothing more than 'Vulnerable'.
No one is impenetrable. No one is imperial.
Your life is spent in tunnels. Your life is Channeled ... you find yourself blindly baring more burden…driven, by driving someone else’s highway, and carrying their freight 'in Priority' of yours. You get them where they want to go because it’s your job.
(You break down?... they 'retool'. But then take solice, because, they travel the tunnel, too.
In the end, no matter your up-keep and maintenance, your 'expectancy' still comes due...dutifully accounted, projected, and invested, by those disassociated with you. You’re not but a fraction of a digit of the least common denominator in the ledger. A pixelated- digit, displayed on the previous screen.
Turn the page, or rip it out, it’s over either way.
Done everything right, full speed ahead, just not as fast as stupid, as more paint's been shed, and this tunnel seems tapered and dark, while NO EXIT signs shine in RED alert. Drive on.
And if it's a bright light I see, I'm aware what it is - the tunnel is over...run out on me. But, having seen it before, we see it anew. Off into the void...we just went....plop...
So...you were asking, “Where do I see myself...?”
V
