Rufus!
Yes, Madam?
Rufus, there’s a ruckus…
Another ruckus, Madam?
I fear someone is being bludgeoned…or worse!
Madam, we’ve been down this road before…
Not like this, Rufus, I can assure you. In fact, I’m shocked you can’t hear the screams in the Lobby!
The Waverleys again…?
Whom else?
I am afraid the Police won’t be too quick to respond this time around…given ‘our history’…
You suggest that I sit quietly by, sip some tea, and listen to the victim in the throws of her demise.
Mr. Waverley addressed those concerns on each prior occasion, as was verified by Mrs. Waverley, who hardly looked the worse for wear, I might add.
I believe they had been drinking! How else would you explain such laughter and frivolity…oh!”
What is it?!
She’s pleading for her life, Man! You can’t hear that?! ‘Oh, please! Please, please, please!!!!’ Where’s the compassion? What’s the world coming to? You can’t hear that?
No Madam, the walls are quite soundproof.
If that’s the case, Rufus, then how the hell can I, a wearer of, not one, but TWO, hearing aids, mind you…not to mention my tinnitus!…How can I possibly hear so very clearly all that is transpiring. I can feel the thuds…the very blows!…vibrating through the floor. He’s pummeling her with a heavy object, and she’s screaming bloody murder, while no one…absolutely NO ONE, is listening to me! Her blood will be on your collective hands when this is done.
But Madam, Mr. Waverley has put us both on notice…should it happen again, there will be repercussions, which I take as, I could lose my job.
Over my dead body!
I’m afraid that won’t help, Madam.
What if it’s not Mr. Waverley? Did you consider that?! It IS broad daylight…! Why would he be home? It could be a stranger…an intruder!
I doubt that. I do keep my eyes peeled for strangers. Actually, Mr. Waverley passed through the lobby not an hour ago. He was in quite a cheerful mood, and in a bit of a hurry.
I’d be willing to bet he had a plan in mind, and was on his way to carry out the foul act!
He was whistling...but…perhaps if you turned on your TV…
Rufus, I know you to be a good man, but I cannot drown out the screams of dying woman. Besides, I tend to depend on the Closed-Captions, so the sound is irrelevant…except for the sound next door, of which I am miraculously capable of hearing!
If I may be so brazen as to suggest that you may be experiencing some issues with your hearing aids, or perhaps a ringing in the ears of some sort.
RUFUS! I am no old fool, and will not be treated as such!
No offense intended, Madam. I was simply trying to be conciliatory. Would you prefer to have your walls inspected? They really are quite soundproof, I assure you.
thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud……
You can’t hear that?!
Perhaps they are hanging paintings…
Oh, that’s ripe, Rufus! Why do you defend the….WAIT ! Oh dear! Good for you darling! Strike back!
Excuse me, Madam?
It seems she has turned the tables! Where she found the strength I’ll never know!
How so, Madam?
She suddenly seems to have the upper-hand! He’s begun to beg for mercy!
Madam, perhaps…
That-a-girl! Throttle him! Give him the old ‘what-for’! OH! YES! Take that! How does that feel? Suffer you bloody bastard!
Madam, really…I think perhaps your imagination…
Rufus, there is nothing imaginary going on. It’s all too real, I assure you. Wait…
Madam, I must tend to other business.
More important than MY business, Rufus? Really? I shall remember that come Christmas…?
It’s not that, Madam, and I do appreciate the $20 each and every year…most generous.
Shhhhh!!!!
Something happening?
Seems they’ve come to some agreement.
How so?
They are settling their differences.
Can you be more explicit, Madam?
He…she…they are both shouting in agreement!
Agreement?
Yes. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! …and so on.
Excellent. So the problem seems to have resolved itself?
I suppose. I do prefer that couples get along. I mean them no ill will, whatsoever. But Edgar and I never raised our voices…
Sorry to hear that, Madam, perhaps if you had…
Had What, Rufus?
Had Celebrated more….if you’ll pardon me…
I see. Well, we chose to celebrate silently, Rufus. We were private people…Civil.
Pity the world has forgotten how that’s done.
They are actually laughing, Rufus. I do hope this was not some sick joke at my expense.
I doubt that, Madam.
Still…I think I’ll ‘keep an ear out’ should it turn nasty again.
Odds are it will, Madam.
You see, Rufus? Vigilance. I am gratified that you’ve finally coming around to my way of thinking.
Yes. I have indeed, Madam, I have indeed.
Feeling rather light-headed…now that it’s all quiet, I think I’ll lie down for a bit...perhaps a nap.
Sweet dreams, Madam.
Thank you, Rufus.
(click)
V
