Saturday, March 19, 2011

silver spoon



It was a cold, silver-spoon moon, full of itself, shined the stars out of the sky on a sharp chill gusty night. He lay huddled in a shallow ravine, tucked amongst sparse brush, and pressed hard against the warm clay wall, it’s day spent baking in the sun, now radiating like a brick oven that warmed Ray to the bone. Discovery of the phenomena has significantly altered his daily existence by allowing him to endure the night and relieve his tired sore joints. The wind skimmed the tip top of the wall, blowing sand and tumbleweed overhead, like a surfer in the tube, he tucked down, curling tight  inside the cusp of the swirling mad sandstorm and fell asleep.

“Sleep tight amigo," he could almost hear his old Dad say.
On a gentler day, these same dry desert winds had swiped playful at his curtains and created whispers in the room,  
"Goodnight Buckeroo", 
it hummed low, while coyotes howled at the moon. 
"It’s good to be home.”


...or was the TV on in the other room of his head?

Next thing he knew…he was jarred awake by a noise he did not recognize.  He rose quickly from the depths  to the surface. His brain suffering the bends. His eyes snap open to reveal the moon now fully overhead, itself, hovering like some illuminated eye, in an indigo sky finally grown still, but colder, much colder. The sound? Did he hear what he heard or was it part of his buckeroo dream? He listened hard anticipating it to come again in hopes of recognizing. It did not. He lifted his head above the short ridge and smelled the sulfurous waft of gun smoke drifting by at it’s own pace. Had the wind been up, the smoke would be in Arizona by now, but in desert stillness, things linger, only to fade with time. So fresh, it had come just a short way away, from a brief moment ago.

Someone was out here shooting. But why one shot? Maybe their last round shot off while clearing the chamber. A hunter on his way back from Utah, making sure he did not take a loaded gun back to the family home. Of course there could be another, darker option. He had to resist the thought that perhaps it was the only shot the shooter had needed. Maybe a despondent soul, alone, ....or...worse.
In the darker option, the mission may now be complete. 
Both scenarios were viable explanations. 
Maybe some drunken kids…but still, just that one shot? Why come all the way out here for that? That’s when it struck him. It had to be the darker option. Out here is exactly where that would be. Even in full moon’s light, who was around to see?
 But had he? He thought he heard it, but cannot swear to it. He smelt the residue of the crime…if there was a crime. And there’s no crime without the body. Was it his job to substantiate this? This what? The only thing he was sure of was that he was not out here alone. While ruminating, he heard the rumble of big engine start up and drive off kicking gravel.
If that was the shooter, it was quite possible he left someone behind. He reckoned he’d find out in the morning, early in the morning before the sun bore down. But he knew, wherever they lie, how much remained to bake on the plain tomorrow would be up to the varmints tonight.

a big bunch a' mess




J.J. Pugh never wanted you to know. That’s why he disappeared. He didn’t care to be missed. Didn’t matter. What really mattered is that the ripples he left behind dissipate as quick as possible, any memories of him expunged from theirs. J.J. was through.

Not that it takes that long. Out of sight out of mind, and JJ was gone before he knew it. They didn’t care. No one went looking. No one called his disconnected number. No messages from his past.
He was finally alone and set free from any sense of obligation or responsibility. But it hurt deep.

In a canyon in a desert he screamed his lungs raw, his throat course….for hours…for a night….and still could not expunge the pain. By morning he awoke to a glorious sunrise, watching lavender shadows draw with the light, ripples of wind, and the hoarse croaking of desert birds, and the pungent smell of creosote like a dry crackle about to spark.

Survive the night and face the day. The night will only cool you, but the day will cook you. JJ was in a bunch of Mess. Scorpions danced across the stage in front of him. His head against the sand, he watched them on the horizontal – the angle of his perspective. They danced like a goddam floor show. Close and closer, pinchers rising, tails curling. He was a big problem in their lives, and JJ could take a hint and split.

It was no effort at all until he got to the highway. Once there, he caught his breath. Walked out to the middle of the deserted desert stretch, looked long at nothing, and wept. He was a bit of a weenie.

Pugh knew he was through unless a vehicle came into view. Fair enough a rationalization, and, yes, even a reality. Or was it a hallucination born of desperation? An illusion of disillusion. And if the dream bore fruit would it bore right through him?

He was lost in his own body - witness to his own mind.

He was aware that what mattered to him at this juncture, bore no real effect on everything around him. The vast flat forever. The battered ribbon of an old highway wandering off to nowhere. Himself just a speck. Barely a pixel. Insignificant, and as indistinguishable as road kill or tumbleweed.

"Watch what ya' wish for, Pugh." the voice said.



Wednesday, February 23, 2011


There is ALWAYS
...a CLOCK!


Ticking. Ticking.

running somewhere
from something.

Time defies us
Denies us
Defines us
Distorts us
and
Defeats us

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Rode side rbr




You’re about as useful
as a roadside rubber
Tossed out the window
By a five minute lover
 tossed out the window 
of a fifty four Ford
and making you
 as fruitful
as your 
drive-by brother

normally I swear
I’d pay no bother
but this fellow here
claims he’s my father

Don’t mind him. He gets this way. He rants and babbles.
Off sulking again….
moody, private, victimized, resentful…revengeful.
The only pain he is bound to inflict is on himself or those in close proximity. It need not be that way, but it is.

Lucy knew it the minute she banged him.
He was either going to kill her or laugh.
Or both.
But when he relinquished
And released,
Amidst the bellow and the heave
his grip now freed 
she laughed with the Joy
in the pure relief of breathing.
A gasp,
from drowning,
her reprieving.

Lying with the Beast
Bound within his sheets,
Still alive, still complete.
She had no choice.

V

Monday, January 24, 2011

tie noodle




Welcome to the church of St God

please sit where you may
We are a humble flock but
In a sea of rice,
each grain is the same
Be it white rice,
or brown rice
Or fried rice
With scrambled eggs
Rice is rice to jesus

To jesus, it’s all the same


The lord led us up this alleyway
Gave us the Laundromat
to keep us’selves warm
And a couple of fine Rest-ronts
A’wit some convenient kitchen doors

(Used to be more…
Used to be four - shut down since
ain’t here no more)

Then the Lord said
to tie noodles
day old dinner rolls
Salmon
On the mound
and life was good
That’s what he told us
Got no incentive to tell us a lie
Once he started ramblin’
you believe you can fly
from here
That’s the reason
He said he called us

 

No tricky explanation
The very explicit direction
That’s what the Lord told us
Right before he died
Was Dude, Ron, an’ Me
He just say
Go find out why

The city pick up his body
took The Lord away
Maybe we should said something
But at the time…
ain’t nothing easy to say

but a shame just the same

We wait since
That blessed day
In this dark place
Spreadin his word
and sharin’ his joy.
Cheerin our souls
You can hear his children say
Pitter patter
Down the alley
All you gotta do is listen
Chill the hush
as The LORD
he comin' down
this way

we are blessed
as he pass by
body steaming
in the cold morning light
but then that one day
he just crumbled
died, and...
just went away.

there's not a night not go by, someone don’t scream his name, echo down these walls. Like the cries for mercy rising from Hell as souls are being sucked under. 


Which they are and which it is.



Thursday, January 20, 2011

blossoming





Upon her passing

Her heart blooms

Bursting in  joy


from concrete bounds

now released

with wings spread

Fanning flame

Rising 

Bursting free

Of the pain

Rising still

Her glory be.


Ascending.