the canyon

1 : 1  1

The One thing I remembered. Just now. There were three ‘ones’ – on the dashboard clock. It struck me, almost like a joke…it was late and I was tired and weirding out. I get that way – kinda goofy - then I crash.

…guess that wasn’t appropriate. Sorry.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know I was tumbling inside this can over and over and glass was flying. Got some in this eye, which is why the patch. Didn’t know I was bleeding. No idea, Too fast. Like waking up into a nightmare, you just don’t know. I thought I was alone. Never thought about Mike or anyone else. No time. That business about your life flashing? Bunk.

When we struck, we struck hard. Rock hard and bang that was it. Blackness with a whack.

Whatever happened next…whenever it was after that…there were some voices at some point, I heard but could not respond. I could think the thoughts, but not speak the words. Like I was locked in my own cell and everything I could hear was outside in the hall and no one could hear me screaming from inside the walls. Not feel my body.  Not feel my own pain. Then I was gone. That’s about it. Blank now for the past…what?…how long’s it been?…and now I feel the pain and need more drip…need the drip.

I don’t recall what I look like and I’m betting that it isn’t the same as before. That traction contraption drove me mad, I do know that. Torture. The tubes, the surgeries, the damn machines…the constant puff and whiff of oxygen. The beep….beep…beep…maddening inside my broken body…my fucked up head.

…sorry, I…

I hope you can bear looking at me. Am I grotesque from my wounds? I…I…hope you don’t find me ghoulish.

They need to make me a new face – not the same, my cranium rebuilt, new shape. They say they have a good woman in charge. I hope so. I’ll need the help.

Mike said he could do it and I believed him. He knows that canyon…he knew it…we blew it. Bad. 1:11. Oh, Mikey, what did we do?