Rufus!
Yes,
Madam?
Rufus,
there’s a ruckus…
Another
ruckus, Madam?
I
fear someone is being bludgeoned…or worse!
Madam,
we’ve been down this road before…
Not
like this, Rufus, I can assure you. In fact, I’m shocked you can’t
hear the screams in the Lobby!
The
Waverleys again…?
Whom
else?
I
am afraid the Police won’t be too quick to respond this time
around…given ‘our history’…
You
suggest that I sit quietly by, sip some tea, and listen to the victim
in the throws of her demise.
Mr.
Waverley addressed those concerns on each prior occasion, as was
verified by Mrs. Waverley, who hardly looked the worse for
wear, I might add.
I
believe they had been drinking! How else would you explain such
laughter and frivolity…oh!”
What
is it?!
She’s
pleading for her life, Man! You can’t hear that?! ‘Oh, please!
Please, please, please!!!!’ Where’s the compassion? What’s
the world coming to? You can’t hear that?
No
Madam, the walls are quite soundproof.
If
that’s the case, Rufus, then how the hell can I, a wearer
of, not one, but TWO, hearing aids, mind you…not to mention my
tinnitus!…How can I possibly hear so very clearly all that
is transpiring. I can feel the thuds…the very blows!…vibrating
through the floor. He’s pummeling her with a heavy object, and
she’s screaming bloody murder, while no one…absolutely NO ONE, is
listening to me! Her blood will be on your collective hands when this
is done.
But
Madam, Mr. Waverley has put us both on notice…should it happen
again, there will be repercussions, which I take as, I could lose
my job.
Over
my dead body!
I’m
afraid that won’t help, Madam.
What
if it’s not Mr. Waverley? Did you consider that?! It IS broad
daylight…! Why would he be home? It could be a stranger…an
intruder!
I
doubt that. I do keep my eyes peeled for strangers. Actually,
Mr. Waverley passed through the lobby not an hour ago. He was in
quite a cheerful mood, and in a bit of a hurry.
I’d be willing to bet he had a plan in mind, and was on his way to carry out the foul act!
He was whistling...but…perhaps if you turned on your TV…
Rufus,
I know you to be a good man, but I cannot drown out the screams of a dying woman. Besides, I tend to depend on the Closed-Captions, so the
sound is irrelevant…except for the sound next door, of which I
am miraculously capable of hearing!
RUFUS!
I am no old fool, and will not be treated as such!
No
offense intended, Madam. I was simply trying to be conciliatory.
Would you prefer to have your walls inspected? They really are quite
soundproof, I assure you.
thud,
thud, thud, thud, thud, thud……
You can’t hear that?!
Perhaps
they are hanging paintings…
Oh,
that’s ripe, Rufus! Why do you defend the….WAIT ! Oh dear!
Good for you darling! Strike back!
Excuse
me, Madam?
It
seems she has turned the tables! Where she found the strength I’ll
never know!
How
so, Madam?
She
suddenly seems to have the upper-hand! He’s begun to beg for
mercy!
Madam,
perhaps…
That-a-girl!
Throttle him! Give him the old ‘what-for’! OH! YES! Take
that! How does that feel? Suffer you bloody bastard!
Madam,
really…I think perhaps your imagination…
Rufus,
there is nothing imaginary going on. It’s all too real, I
assure you. Wait…
Madam,
I must tend to other business.
More
important than MY business, Rufus? Really? I shall remember that come
Christmas…
It’s
not that, Madam, and I do appreciate the $20 each and every year…most
generous.
Shhhhh!!!!
Something happening?
Seems
they’ve come to some agreement.
How
so?
They
are settling their differences.
Can
you be more explicit, Madam?
He…she…they
are both shouting in agreement!
Agreement?
Yes.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! …and so on.
Excellent.
So the problem seems to have resolved itself?
I
suppose.
YES!!!!
I...um...I do prefer that couples get along well. I mean them no
ill will, whatsoever. But Edgar and I never raised our voices…
Sorry to hear that, Madam, perhaps if you had…
Had
What, Rufus?
Had
Celebrated more….if you’ll pardon me…
I
see. Well, we chose to celebrate silently, Rufus. We were private
people…Civil.
Pity
the world has forgotten how that’s done.
They
are actually laughing, Rufus. I do hope this was not some sick
joke at my expense.
I doubt that, Madam.
Still…I think I’ll ‘keep an ear out’ should it turn nasty again.
Odds are it will, Madam.
You see, Rufus? Vigilance. I am gratified that you’ve finally come around to my way of thinking.
Yes. I have indeed, Madam, I have indeed.
Feeling rather light-headed…now that it’s all quiet, I think I’ll lie down for a bit...perhaps a nap.
Sweet dreams, Madam.
Thank you, Rufus. You're a good man.
(click)
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