MISSING MY MACHETE

 

I am missing my machete. This concerns me. It concerns me on several levels, but mostly it concerns me because I don’t want to buy a new one. I know you probably saw it as an ‘at risk’ issue, but my sense was for the immediate, and as long as I wasn’t being ‘pounced upon’ by ‘said, borrower’… (I’ve checked the house, it’s clean.) ...but to be out another $20 to $40…(cheap steel is fine with me)…otherwise, it’s rather obscene, I think.

So, this machete…it’s old and rusty. Anyone that knew anything about gardening would know immediately that it was useless as a tool. However, an Amateur, might seize upon it as a weapon. A tool for thrashing…hacking away. His madness found in the splay…

But I digress, and state, once again – I’ve checked the house and it is clean. So let’s put that issue to bed. The perpetrator is not present. Thankfully.

That would lead one to imagine that the perpetrator is ‘at large’ in a very large city, wielding a weapon, stolen from my tool shed…or, the garden box…or the garage. There may be some confusion, but it’s not to be found. End of story.

Or is it?

I try not to picture a mad man, slashing his way through Brentwood, or the slaughter at the Mall.

“Swing!..” it sings, fresh drawn from it’s scabbard.

Not hard to imagine the horrific images splashed across your widescreen. 

Try not…just try.

Rather, rest easy with me. Buy the ‘short-term’. Be inconvenienced…put-off, but casual. No need to breed panic in the street when it was potentially, accidentally, misplaced…is there? 

And yet…

          SWING.

V