HIJINX

It had to do with his dissertation. What it was about, we have no idea, but he was keen to finish it. He would spend long days and nights in the library. There just weren’t enough hours. Then two days before it was due, he disappeared. 

He was actually, snatched, as he made his way back to his quarters, simply to shower and change. He had on a dense winter coat, with scarf and gloves. At that hour of the morning, the chill just passes through anyhow, so he was in a frigid hurry. He carried his satchel, which, presumably, contained the documents. We don't know. But we do know, is that he would not part with them gracefully, if at all. So it would seem a struggle took place. There were some witnesses, but be warned, the kind of witness you get at four o’clock in the morning, in that neighborhood, might not be so trustworthy or even, traceable, for that matter.

They, the guys in the van (we think there were three, including the driver) shoved him into a barrel and tightened the top. They had thought to drill air holes in the lid, but he could not see anything except the van roof. How many were there, really? What did they want from him? If they wanted the dissertation why didn't they just take that? Why involve him? They drove for days. By now they had let him out of the barrel. They even stopped to let him stretch and relieve himself. He wore a black sack over his head, and his hands were bound in front. No one was talking. Not a word. He tried to get a response, any response, but none came. He would rattle endlessly, until they taped him shut. He learned to ride quietly.

After awhile it grew too quiet, and when they sent one back to take a look, he wasn’t expecting what he found, and screamed, which shocked the driver into making an ill-advised turn, which sent the van a’rollin. There were no survivors, per se, and I say that because one of the boys (turns out it was all a stunt) spent two weeks in a coma, before he expired.

V