Way Past Rodeo

Call-Inbound: # 518

Date: 18 June, 2002

Time: :02:48:32

Transcript: W4W as Recorded  (W4W = ‘word for word’)

ID:  Anon.

You know I used to break horses.

I never knew that…

Oh, yes. Of course I was younger, stronger, much more agile… ‘flex-I-bile’ is what we called it…fucking tough… and knew how to take-a-fall…most often a Hard fall, then get up and kick that stallion in the balls, if you got enough yourself.

You done that? How many?

Lost count, but whatever it is, multiply by two, because when I did it, I made sure I got both.

Were there a lot of HARD falls?

Is ‘Bone-breakin’ hard enough? How about ‘bone shatterin’? is that hard enough. Internal bleeding?!…how’s that?!

Serious? What kind? How many?

I suspect records have been suppressed, but I would guess: Neck, collar, shoulder, sternum, spine, pelvis, femur, tibia, ankle…a handful of humerus, radius, ulnas, and carpus…

Concussions?

Counting whiplash?

If you must…

Then, I lost count.

Damn. And you bring this up in conversation, why?

I felt I was properly prepared to wed this woman. This local gal…

Why this woman in particular?

I can’t seem to tolerate a passive foe…

And you feel ridin’ the circuit ‘prepared you’?  How so?

You can never be fully prepared, but you CAN learn to Anticipate. Reflex reactions…snap! Like that!  Quick twitch! You know if she turns to throw ya’, you gotta shift yer weight. Fend her motion. But you know you will hit the ground at some point. Accept it as part of the ride. Can’t ride‘em all out….

Well, yeah, but it’s a proven fact that reflexes do slow down…significantly!….slow down with age.

Which is why you gotta gauge. I chose an older date as my stable-mate. Tight quarters, cautious moves…what more could a man ask for?

A divorcee, is she?

Probably.

Probably! Does she bring along her own hay?

Yes, but what's...

So maybe she’s someone… ‘some other’ rider couldn’t conquer?

No riders stronger than me, I gotta believe… so if it’s me that it takes, then its me that deserves it. Or else deserves to take the fall. I’ll take it either way.

Could be the fall of them all…this she-dervish of yours….

Could be…

…but back to reality,this divorcee.. maybe, he, this prior stud,  just grew tired of it because she didn’t provide the same buck, and he wasn’t done ‘young-buckin’.

I imagine his time will come. They put sad, old studs out to graze. At that age they'd be grazin’ on dry gray grasses anyways, if you know what I mean.

VO - (Cut. Rephrase that. Give me another take for edit, and think before you speak…people do listen to this shit…let’s try to maintain all eight, shall we?)

Ok. Let’s just say, this ex…this COW-boy… might be good for a few more rides, before he finds himself a goon at a kid’s pony party.

At least Ponies are safe.

Ponies are goddamn BORING!  …round, and round…might as well get on the merry-go-round.

And the options…?

Any horse is yer friend if you got carrots or sugar…

And they don’t bite…

Oh hell, that’s bound to happen in the moment, and it’s alright. Beats a horse that can’t open it’s mouth to begin with….carousel, ha!…and then, what’s this old horse, put out to back pasture, to do within view of frolicking breeding fields, yearning for the day when he could jump a fence with ease? … but no more… Can’t see the sticks nor posts to begin with…never mind, Jump!!! - the damn-thing.

So I sense you’re through?

With the Rodeo? Way past…what’s it to you anyway?

Sooo…we hear the Rodeo is back in town!

That’s why I’m here.

How’s that?

To remind everyone what the West, used to be like!