NO ONE'S BUSINESS

 

The diners been closed for twenty years!

Then why is it we're sitting here?

You mean sitting on it?

What?! 

Your vagina...mines been closed for twenty years.

Oh, I thought you said "diner"….mine's been Twelve...

You're six years younger. You'll catch up. 

I suspect you're right - the sodas gone flat... no fizz in the bottle…the flirt is only in the makeup. Beyond that…?

Fizz is fadin’ fast.

Okay, a game of "First and Last" …. who was first?... and, who was last?

Eddie Grant. Lucky he wasn't arrested...and Chuck, just before he passed...you?

Marcus Shepard. I did not appreciate what I had, or what I'd done. I did not realize soon enough with Marcus...

Oh, bad Marcus...And, 'last'...?

………..Helen Banks.

Helen Banks!

Can't go out without tryin' it, and besides, she was the comfort I needed at the time, and 'at that', she was divine.

My goodness. And don't laugh at me for blushing!     You...!

Me, what?

HO - MO!

Hahahahahhahahahahhhaaa....40 men would beg to differ.

But not the Lady.

You are evil.

I am evil? Thou shalt not lie down with another man’s wife?

Patrick died years ago. She never knew, or wanted, another man.

I understand.

You do?

As much as I can....without 'going there'.

That's Fair. Let people be in their moment, be it grief, love, or just relief…

No one's business...

No one’s business indeed.

V

HOW LOUD THE THUNDER

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Is that lightning I feel? Maybe I can’t see it, but I sure sense it. Thunder can’t be far behind. What’s the equation? Count to ten, it’s two miles?…three, four, five, six, sev….boom. Oh my, that’s a bit close. Should we scurry? Pack up quick…At least get back to the car! Which way is it? Girlie? Girlie!  It’s not funny you know. Where did you go? Don’t do this to me. Girlie!

John! John, what is it? What’s wrong?

Where did you go? The storm is growing! Where were you?

If you must know, I went over the rise and…

 

Rise? WHY?

I relieved myself. I had no choice. 

You could have done that right here!

You’re frantic, and you must STOP! Stop what you’re doing and listen. I am here and I’ll take you down. The car is near, lets get you into it.

BOOM

Good Lord it’s upon us!

Not just yet, but we best hurry.

She took his arm and led him down the rugged hill. In hind site, perhaps not the best location for a picnic, given his situation, but certainly the view makes up for it. And like he’s always saying, he may not see it, but he feels it.

…and, besides, had I pissed near here, I know your senses are especially keen, and you would hear me, no matter how discrete I was trying to be, or how loud the thunder !

That got a chuckle out of him, and stole some of his tension. Odd, the phenomena, but with some stress relieved, he moved easier, more fluid, and built speed, which made the transition down much less laborious.

As the rain arrived, they reached the car,

You get in, and I’ll go back for the gear! 
 
You’ll get soaked!

Too late!

 

She dashed back, her sturdy legs, like a mountain goat, she scrambled up the hill. She grabbed the  blanket, picnic basket, and old thermos and that’s when it struck…the thermos, and it’s 'finished silver' metal jacket…
The bolt...? it was just waiting, and instantaneously spiked right through her. 

She smoldered for awhile, before the merciful rain  extinguished her.

Meanwhile, in the car, John, was in a panic, and this time, for good reason.

V

FLY

 

It was as if by fluke, a fly in the dead of night seemed to seek out my screen and land upon it. It was about the size of a cursor, thereby complicating issues even further. It comes and goes…flitting on, and flitting off. Is it the cursor or the cursed fly? At first I try to ignore it. But I can't seem to, because of the buzzing. I can’t catch it, or smash it without risking my laptop, and if I turn on the lights, it lights safely on the ceiling.

It’s an untimely thing, and I grow more anxious at the annoyance.

I have to stop. Take a breather, leave the room and wander, or sit and contemplate. Just leave the fly behind. But first, open a window, and hope he goes away. That just might work. Save us all some grief.

I quickly close the door behind me, and walk down the stairs to the kitchen. I put on a teapot, waited for it to boil, then steeped tea for a good ten minutes, while staring out at the small garden courtyard, by yellow bug light, with nothing really on my mind. I enjoyed the peace I found in doing. 

I poured a cup and took the tea back to my room. At the door, I stopped and listened - don't know why, but I did. Then I slowly creaked it open. Only to find, to my great dismay, I didn't have one fly, I now had eight.

V

IN THREES

 

They were under the drawbridge waiting out the thunder claps and rain. The rain was intermittent, but the threat was immanent. The winds had picked up. That's what drove them under.

They huddled because space was limited. The four of them trapped in that moment. The jogger asked if anyone had the time. The pregnant lady, said, “ Two fifteen.” 

He thanked her and asked when she was due. She rather reluctantly said “November…” and left it at that. The jogger sensed her unease and withdrew.

The homeless woman let out a moan. It was low and it was long. The other three stared at her, not knowing, or wanting, to approach her. She leaned against the wall for support.

"Ma’m? Are you alright?”, the Student asked.

“Just old, is all”, she muttered. “ Don't bother me…”

"Leave her be”, agreed the jogger.

"She needs help”, the pregnant woman said.

“Let's at least make her comfortable…”, said the student.

"Why?”, said the jogger.

The weather was getting worse, and there was nowhere to go. The student and pregnant lady gathered some of the bag lady’s bags and propped them up against the wall, then he laid an old blanket on the ground. The pregnant lady helped her bundle up, and the student eased her down upon it. She curled up tight and rocked for awhile, then went very still. The three watched her…breathless. Then she stirred, and they exhaled together. The relief !  

The student approached her, to re-drape the coat...and gagged when he got there. The homeless woman had choked on her tongue, and was purple and blue, Her eyes rolled back in her head.

"This can’t be happening,” said the jogger, at the annoyance, "Fuck! We're going to get hung up for hours! What did we do?! Goddamn self-righteous people. I say we walk away. We weren't here!”

"Can't do it.”

”Me neither. “

"Go if you want. We were three…it won't change the outcome.”

"No it won’t, will it? Sure you can live with that?”

“Can you?”

He didn't answer, he just turned and sprinted into the storm. Gone in no time. He died cutting across 5th. The driver, blinded by the rain, had no time, or chance to react. He got out and looked at the mangled mass, then got back in the car, and left the scene. Hoping the storm would wash away the stain...
Two hours later, on a treacherous stretch of highway, he would hit an oil slick and skid into an abutment. 

They say it happens “…in three’s ”.

V

WHAT ABOUT CHUCK?

It had a ring to it. It was just on the tip of my tongue. Damn. Amazing, how it slips away. Celebrity. 

I was amongst ‘has been’ and ‘almost was’, all the worshippers - way past their day of judgement, with a smattering of doubters. I suppose I was among them….the latter. But it didn't mean I wasn't open to the abuse bestowed upon me by, said celebrity,….I can be bought. But for a fee. And a hefty fee, at that.

 As for the celeb’s? They preened for the screen then they disappeared into their cabanas. It was to be expected, but yet, you expected more. It'll be over before you know it….and it usually is.

So, where we? I’ve ridden this fuckin’ train before….and unless….until..I get some solid verification, I'm no good to anyone. There are some mean spirited people among us….one can never tell. With the celeb you, you should expect the worst, first. If it should become gravy, Amen. But should it be ‘'the shits” ….that's a different matter. Can you handle it?

Meanwhile Oscar is five days late on his rent, for the third month in a row, and dodging the landlord. He has no fresh ideas…he’s out….metaphorically and otherwise. 

He needs a gig. Oh, he had scored a sweet one, bar tending a political rally (makes Celebs look like royalty). There was a promise of a regular gig, but the caterer was new and inexperienced and closed down. Before that, he foolishly spent the money partying. Celebrating the new job. It was a great party, but he was now busted, and about to be evicted.

“"Damn it, Chuck, you goaded me on…” is the only excuse he could come up with, but that was weak. He'd only himself to blame.

Tomorrow will be “"application day”’, tonight he’ll crash at Chuck’s, again, which will be uncomfortable because of his partner, who just happens to be a cunt. Maybe she’ll be out late. Sometimes she does that, and he appreciates it.

“"Who am I to question their relationship…” he thought, in a moment of guilt. He was invading their space. He’d try to sneak back to his pad tomorrow, but it might be risky. He was afraid the landlord might put his stuff on the street, so he had to take the chance.

He was wrong, she was home early, but just to change for an evening out of the house. Hooray.

“You know Oscar I really dislike you right now. You might be alright in small doses, but you are just too close, and it’s driving me crazy.”

“ I'll be out tomorrow.”

“"Before you do I'd like to get something out of the way.” She announced, then proceeded to have her way with him. 

“…but what about Chuck?”

“"Working late…” 

It was excellent. Wildly entertaining, yet necessitating his immediate exiting in the morning…

V

JIMMY LINGUINI

 

It was hokey music, coming from a dive bar in San Leandro…and, if you know San Leandro, you know.

If you do no not live in S.L., imagine a lonely bar in hell, with, maybe, six crazy-ass customers brooding over too many drinks at too early an hour with time and crime on their hands and minds. The Potential Horror…. What have you stumbled upon? Whatever it was, I found I fit in.

I was supposed to meet some guy…some Johnny Luigi…Linguini…I dunno, but he was supposed to approach me. I waited, and I waited, and I had a few. You can’t go into a bar and order coffee. Not this bar. So, I drank, and waited, and the more bored I got the drunker I became. It should be noted, however, that I am an excellent drunk…barely detectable, under most circumstances, and this was one of those.

Johnny…Jimmie…whatever, he didn’t show and I had nowhere to go. I surmised that food would do me some good, so I paid my tab and ambled (…or stumbled…it’s a matter of perspective) …over to the Mexican place across the street. Dinner hour was almost over so the place was nearly empty, which is just fine in my book. Waitresses, trying to “total out”, they want your order; cooks ready to shut down, they want you gone. So, I got me a nice fat burrito, and I got it pronto. One might question the meat at this late hour – I mean, how long did it sit in the kitchen? – but I don’t care. Quick and efficient is okay by me. I ate quietly, and chewed my food carefully, as the crew shut down, turned up the lights, and stacked the chairs…all but mine. When I was done, my plates disappeared pronto, and the check was on the table. I asked for a coffee, and laid down a twenty. I sipped quietly while the crew finished up. We would walk out together. I bade them all a goodnight, but they were all too busy being gone to notice. The street emptied quick, and then it was…empty.

The flicker of the small neon window sign was the only thing animated, it's red cast called to me. A nightcap could do no harm, and, actually, it was still early.

V

The Shame

 

It was a moment : 

I found myself in a chain dance…snake dance…whata’ya’call it?

I played along…
the whole thing 
being Rachel’s Ass, 
and how I wanted to grip it...
grasp it…
hands on hips, 
but sliding down, 
mounds so round 
and I’m a hound… 
what?
…you gonna judge me?!

So bound to mount 
Rachel at first opening, 
but the opening-was-closing, 
Destiny deals a deadly hand, 
Produces a Man, 
that comes 
and takes 
her away.

 

-The Shame.

V