DANGEROUS THINKING

 

It came at me. I knew it was an apparition but I was very fearful. I can’t deny that. It was that real. I hid like a coward.

I wish I could say I dumped it down the drain, but the truth is I emptied the bottle. I had consumed my consumption…took from my partaking, never looking back except to say ‘where did it all go?”, while knowing all along, the last drop has been lapped, and it’s too late…. and it was, but for fate. 

You know how you catch glimpses of people? Flashes of a second or two, and you’d almost be ready to risk everything to adapt to this person and jettison everything else? 

"Dangerous thinking" 

      ...don’t you think?   

Not knowing.

She came to me. Picked me out of the crowd, but it was not the crowd I was with, I was simply trying to get around it. She slipped me her arm, and said “join us…”

It was so impromptu, so out of the blue, that I said “sure…” 

...with maybe ten bucks to my name, no idea where we were going, and how much it was going to cost me.

In moments a limo pulled up to the curb and the crowd, crowded in. I hesitated, not being 'limo' material, but she persisted, and in an instant, I was inside.  I introduced myself to anyone that would listen, but given the hysterical mass-gaiety, it didn’t seem to matter. Everyone disinterested, but my new-found ‘friend’. She hung nearby in case I needed her. Which I sort of did.

We ended up in a field, quite a ways out of the city. The roof retracted to expose the sky, the doors open and the crowd, became, "all-strewn-about", and were having a great time. 

That girl never left my side, and before I realized, she was my bride. A matter of months, and I was hers. Foolish even then, but I did acquiesce...

As a pair we were wasted more times than before. A long summer of hot nights, and the more we partook, the more bored we got. 

Annulment proceedings were uneventfully effective. So, let's just put that one to rest.

V

WALK IN PAIRS

Help me get my balance. I’m…I’m….teetering…ing. 

Overcome….over….come. I may need some assist now. If you can swing it. Maybe get me a cab? get me home. Where are we? Is this Milan or Madrid? It’s just too much….Munich? Come back to earth. Mother Earth.

I am confused and delusional but sharp as razor. It’s just that I get confused. I am temporarily globally restrained. But I love the peat, this fertile earth…

Okay, I think I’m OK. A lot of trouble for nothing, if you ask me. Bone’s Syndrome (BS): 
"….you are convinced you have no bones to hold you up, so you just spill … all over." 

But it's under control with medication. The medication…

There are bears in the trees around here. This time of year, best walk in pairs.

V

PAINT THE PORTRAIT

 

Do your best and try not to be Obscure. Step out and become someone. Easy to say, I know, but I also know you got no choice. Either you make the best of your situation, or you fade…or perish. Which will it be? Don’t tell me, I don’t want to know. This is a decision you have to make…an oath you take, when you are ready.

There are days those words ring true, but alas, more for ‘the lesser’. For I never found my fortune, never met my goals, wandered from the path that I never found, and find myself dealing poorly in some

squandered squalid survival.

The ghosts, they come. Not in a dream…voices in the head. They wonder what went wrong, but there is no answer. I opt to shut them out, should they get too loud. Sometimes they do, and I have to wonder…surely someone hears this cacophony? 

But no one does, and would they care or would it just be a wash in the noise around it?

A brushstroke of mud…from a palette of shit...

Alright, I'm ready.

Paint the portrait.

V 

NO ONE'S BUSINESS

 

The diners been closed for twenty years!

Then why is it we're sitting here?

You mean sitting on it?

What?! 

Your vagina...mines been closed for twenty years.

Oh, I thought you said "diner"….mine's been Twelve...

You're six years younger. You'll catch up. 

I suspect you're right - the sodas gone flat... no fizz in the bottle…the flirt is only in the makeup. Beyond that…?

Fizz is fadin’ fast.

Okay, a game of "First and Last" …. who was first?... and, who was last?

Eddie Grant. Lucky he wasn't arrested...and Chuck, just before he passed...you?

Marcus Shepard. I did not appreciate what I had, or what I'd done. I did not realize soon enough with Marcus...

Oh, bad Marcus...And, 'last'...?

………..Helen Banks.

Helen Banks!

Can't go out without tryin' it, and besides, she was the comfort I needed at the time, and 'at that', she was divine.

My goodness. And don't laugh at me for blushing!     You...!

Me, what?

HO - MO!

Hahahahahhahahahahhhaaa....40 men would beg to differ.

But not the Lady.

You are evil.

I am evil? Thou shalt not lie down with another man’s wife?

Patrick died years ago. She never knew, or wanted, another man.

I understand.

You do?

As much as I can....without 'going there'.

That's Fair. Let people be in their moment, be it grief, love, or just relief…

No one's business...

No one’s business indeed.

V

HOW LOUD THE THUNDER

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Is that lightning I feel? Maybe I can’t see it, but I sure sense it. Thunder can’t be far behind. What’s the equation? Count to ten, it’s two miles?…three, four, five, six, sev….boom. Oh my, that’s a bit close. Should we scurry? Pack up quick…At least get back to the car! Which way is it? Girlie? Girlie!  It’s not funny you know. Where did you go? Don’t do this to me. Girlie!

John! John, what is it? What’s wrong?

Where did you go? The storm is growing! Where were you?

If you must know, I went over the rise and…

 

Rise? WHY?

I relieved myself. I had no choice. 

You could have done that right here!

You’re frantic, and you must STOP! Stop what you’re doing and listen. I am here and I’ll take you down. The car is near, lets get you into it.

BOOM

Good Lord it’s upon us!

Not just yet, but we best hurry.

She took his arm and led him down the rugged hill. In hind site, perhaps not the best location for a picnic, given his situation, but certainly the view makes up for it. And like he’s always saying, he may not see it, but he feels it.

…and, besides, had I pissed near here, I know your senses are especially keen, and you would hear me, no matter how discrete I was trying to be, or how loud the thunder !

That got a chuckle out of him, and stole some of his tension. Odd, the phenomena, but with some stress relieved, he moved easier, more fluid, and built speed, which made the transition down much less laborious.

As the rain arrived, they reached the car,

You get in, and I’ll go back for the gear! 
 
You’ll get soaked!

Too late!

 

She dashed back, her sturdy legs, like a mountain goat, she scrambled up the hill. She grabbed the  blanket, picnic basket, and old thermos and that’s when it struck…the thermos, and it’s 'finished silver' metal jacket…
The bolt...? it was just waiting, and instantaneously spiked right through her. 

She smoldered for awhile, before the merciful rain  extinguished her.

Meanwhile, in the car, John, was in a panic, and this time, for good reason.

V

FLY

 

It was as if by fluke, a fly in the dead of night seemed to seek out my screen and land upon it. It was about the size of a cursor, thereby complicating issues even further. It comes and goes…flitting on, and flitting off. Is it the cursor or the cursed fly? At first I try to ignore it. But I can't seem to, because of the buzzing. I can’t catch it, or smash it without risking my laptop, and if I turn on the lights, it lights safely on the ceiling.

It’s an untimely thing, and I grow more anxious at the annoyance.

I have to stop. Take a breather, leave the room and wander, or sit and contemplate. Just leave the fly behind. But first, open a window, and hope he goes away. That just might work. Save us all some grief.

I quickly close the door behind me, and walk down the stairs to the kitchen. I put on a teapot, waited for it to boil, then steeped tea for a good ten minutes, while staring out at the small garden courtyard, by yellow bug light, with nothing really on my mind. I enjoyed the peace I found in doing. 

I poured a cup and took the tea back to my room. At the door, I stopped and listened - don't know why, but I did. Then I slowly creaked it open. Only to find, to my great dismay, I didn't have one fly, I now had eight.

V

IN THREES

 

They were under the drawbridge waiting out the thunder claps and rain. The rain was intermittent, but the threat was immanent. The winds had picked up. That's what drove them under.

They huddled because space was limited. The four of them trapped in that moment. The jogger asked if anyone had the time. The pregnant lady, said, “ Two fifteen.” 

He thanked her and asked when she was due. She rather reluctantly said “November…” and left it at that. The jogger sensed her unease and withdrew.

The homeless woman let out a moan. It was low and it was long. The other three stared at her, not knowing, or wanting, to approach her. She leaned against the wall for support.

"Ma’m? Are you alright?”, the Student asked.

“Just old, is all”, she muttered. “ Don't bother me…”

"Leave her be”, agreed the jogger.

"She needs help”, the pregnant woman said.

“Let's at least make her comfortable…”, said the student.

"Why?”, said the jogger.

The weather was getting worse, and there was nowhere to go. The student and pregnant lady gathered some of the bag lady’s bags and propped them up against the wall, then he laid an old blanket on the ground. The pregnant lady helped her bundle up, and the student eased her down upon it. She curled up tight and rocked for awhile, then went very still. The three watched her…breathless. Then she stirred, and they exhaled together. The relief !  

The student approached her, to re-drape the coat...and gagged when he got there. The homeless woman had choked on her tongue, and was purple and blue, Her eyes rolled back in her head.

"This can’t be happening,” said the jogger, at the annoyance, "Fuck! We're going to get hung up for hours! What did we do?! Goddamn self-righteous people. I say we walk away. We weren't here!”

"Can't do it.”

”Me neither. “

"Go if you want. We were three…it won't change the outcome.”

"No it won’t, will it? Sure you can live with that?”

“Can you?”

He didn't answer, he just turned and sprinted into the storm. Gone in no time. He died cutting across 5th. The driver, blinded by the rain, had no time, or chance to react. He got out and looked at the mangled mass, then got back in the car, and left the scene. Hoping the storm would wash away the stain...
Two hours later, on a treacherous stretch of highway, he would hit an oil slick and skid into an abutment. 

They say it happens “…in three’s ”.

V